But... I have also been receiving feedback from families who already know what it's like to play the Type 1 game since they've been chosen as players as well. Some tell me that this blog makes them feel less alone knowing that we're going through the same thing. I am happy that I can help them, even in a very small way, and give them hope. Today's entry is for these people. I hope it inspires you and helps you grow...
Instead of talking about all that is taken away from Type 1 gamers, I would like to list things that are gained from playing the Type 1 game.
If someone would have told me 10 years ago that today I would be parenting a child with a chronic disease requiring as much work as the Type 1 game, I would have told them that I could not do it. I would have told them that I could not survive such constant stress. I would have told them that I was already stressed to the max and that something like that would surely push me over the edge and that I simply could not do it. I would have told them that I didn't have what it takes. I would have told them that I could never hurt my child with a needle and that there is no way that I could calculate a drug dosage before adminstered it to my own child to keep her alive, and if I were to make a mistake and give her too much, that it could also kill her. I would have been wrong.
Playing the Type 1 game has taken it's toll, but I am surviving and it has made me discover inner strength that I never knew was there. I feel lucky in a way to have been given the opportunity to grow, to have met amazing people through my involvement with JDRF and to have been able to help other Type 1 gamers suffering just like me. Hardship breeds strength. It forces you to really take a look deep, deep inside of yourself. I am amazed at how far we have come since the game started. It has taught me (and Adele) to suffer. Living is impossible without suffering. Society teaches us that suffering is bad. Without the contrast of hurt, how would we know what joy feels like? I mean, I don't believe in physically causing injury to someone to make them grow, but since suffering is INEVITABLE, isn't it beneficial to raise our "pain threshhold"? It has also made me appreciate the small things. Even a very ordinary weekday with good blood sugars which help Adele feel as normal as possible really, really makes me happy.
Don't get me wrong, it's been a rollercoaster ride (and not in the fun way) and it still is. I'd stop playing the Type 1 game in a fraction of a second without hesitation if I could, but I can't. So why not try to find some positive in all of this?