Wednesday, October 27, 2010

It's easy to judge...

Please don’t judge our family based on how we choose to play the Type 1 game. Please don’t tell me that 12 or more blood glucose checks during a school weekday is too much. Please don’t tell me that talking with Adele’s teacher’s aid and daycare caregiver 7 or more times per day is unnecessary. Please don’t tell me that getting up to check Adele’s blood glucose at least once every single night is too much. Please don’t tell me that driving to Adele’s friend’s house at 2 am to check her blood glucose during a sleepover is ridiculous. Please don’t tell me that we’re hovering too much and should let go. Please don’t tell me how other gamers don’t test as much and still “seem to be doing great”. Please don’t tell me how easy another gamer finds playing the Type 1 game and how perfect their numbers are. Please don’t minimize what we go through each and every day to keep Adele alive. I’m not looking for pity. I’m just asking you not to judge.

Since Adele’s Type 1 diagnosis 8 years ago, I have been fully committed to do every single thing that I can to be the absolute best replacement pancreas that I can be. Rather than wallow in self-pity, I choose to gain as much knowledge and experience as I can about Type 1 gaming. I choose to become passionate about the gaming process and the cause. I choose to see the glass as half full. I choose to see opportunities instead of obstacles. I choose to be part of the quest for a cure instead of just waiting for it.

Yes, I do realize that Adele will eventually be the one playing the Type 1 game. We believe that this responsibility should be given to her little by little with Adele leading the way, letting us know when she’s ready for more. We push a bit, but not too much. As she does take on more and more responsibility, I will always be there to support and guide her teaching her all that I have learned along the way.

The purpose of this post is not to brag about how good we are at parenting and Type 1 gaming. We struggle and just like other gamers who were unwillingly thrown into this Type 1 ocean, we’re really just doing what we can to stay afloat.

The role of a parent of a Type 1 diabetic child is so much more demanding than that of a “healthy / normal” child, but we must not forget to look at one of the by-products of the Type 1 game suffering which is the depth of the relationship that is created. I honestly believe that I would not have such a close relationship with Adele without Type 1 Diabetes. Choose to embrace playing the Type 1 game instead of resisting it. It’s one of the only things that we can control…

8 comments:

Wendy said...

I LOVE THIS POST!

Awesome! Awesome! Awesome!

Love your message and will remind myself at 2 am that I am not alone.

Sarah said...

So true. It is definitely a place where nobody should give any judgement, one of those unless you walk in these very shoes every second of the day than don't judge. I wondered if it was awful to admit that my bond became deeper once I became Isaac's pseudo pancreas...but it feels wonderful to hear another person acknowledge this growth in relationship.
I appreciate your post and knowledge that together we're truly not alone, yet our words can make others feel judged. Keep up the hard work :)

Hallie said...

So very true! I hate that, "Why do you test so much?" "Why do you get up at night?" We do what we feel we have to do to keep our kids alive. No one should judge. Certainly no one outside this life. And no one living it, either. We know often things change. How often something works one day and not the next. No judging. Support. That's what we need. And a cure!

shannon said...

My daughter was diagnosed about a year ago, so maybe it's because I've been in the game for such a short amount of time but I am shocked and appalled that people have made any of these comments to you. I just can't get over how inappropriate it all is. I'm bookmarking this post so I can refer back to it if I ever do hear any of these things directed at me. Thanks!

alix said...

Love this post, MIke!
we've had ridiculous comments made to us too. i am asked "why can't tyler take care of himself, he is old enough to do it on his own you know."
we must embrace T1, fighting it will only cause us to stumble...

Lorraine of "This is Caleb..." said...

No judging here, I promise! :)

Katie @ www.princessofpavement.com said...

Wow! What a great post. It's interesting to see the diabetes world from a parent's perspective. Parents of kids with diabetes, I got to say (given the hell I put my mom through as a kid) are some of the most amazing parents out there!

Gina said...
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