Traumatized

Craving my next dopamine hit.  This addiction.  My survival mechanism.  Born from my type-A personality, from living in this bruised and battered society.  So many people searching for the secret to happiness.  Some claiming to have found it, but for me, personally, I’m not always sure.  Sometimes, I feel like I can touch it, that it’s right there, straight in front of me.  So close, that all I need to do is pedal into it.  Other times, my ego getting in the way.  My addictions.  My way of enduring the pain of my traumas.  Deep down, I have come to understand and believe that our traumas are what drive us.  Their effects so very deep, multi-generational even.  Everyone has been traumatized.  Some more profoundly than others.  Some with less available help and support than others.  So much emotional pain and suffering.  So many addictions to enable us to deal with all of this agony and  heartache.  This traumatized society.  Endlessly searching for outer solutions to our inner problems.  These addictions.  Appeased by healing our traumas.  Healing by understanding and feeling.  This isn’t easy.  To finally experience repressed pain and suffering is one of the hardest and most courageous things to do.  That’s why it’s our life’s work.  Our most important duty.  Our moral responsibility to humanity.  Our gift to this world.  It isn’t about failing.  Healing is about feeling.  One of the things that I love most about riding bikes is how it somehow enables me to understand and feel more deeply.  What are you addicted to?  What have your addictions taught you about your traumas?