2010 Cyclebetes Relay

My 2010 Cyclebetes national relay and community ride adventure has been done for a few weeks already. Lots of planning, anticipation and training resulting in 670 kms (or 402 miles) ridden in 23 hours over 4 days. The effort left me quite wrecked and destroyed actually but we’re $13,000 closer to a Type 1 cure because of my efforts so it’s was well worth it.

What does it take to be part of the Cyclebetes national relay? First and foremost you need a sense of adventure and a willingness to step out of your comfort zone. Up at 5:30 am most mornings, often on the bike an hour later at 6:30. You’re eating, trying to recover, trying to rest, driving, working on bikes, setting up camp and doing multiple other chores mostly the rest of the day. You eventually crash at around 11 pm or later, hopefully in a relatively comfortable bed in the RV (sometimes on the floor) or in a tent. You try to get some sleep because you have to do the same thing the next day. And that’s if you’re part of a team that does not have any longer days where the riding extends into the night.

At the end of your journey, you’re exhausted, but transformed and inspired. You’re so happy to sleep in your own bed and to see your family, but sad to leave your extended Cyclebetes family. Your butt is very pleased to not be perched on a bike saddle and your legs are happy to not have to turn pedals for a while. But you feel this powerful feeling deep inside that you made difference. You were part of a team with a very important goal: to deliver on a promise to cure Type 1 Diabetes. As soon as Adele jumped in my arms when I got home all the pain and fatigue went away and it was all so worth it.

My Cyclebetes relay pull this year was 4 days through Nova Scotia and New Brunswick. Less than half of my mileage was on the tandem (Diabetsy) and the rest was on my own bike in pursuit of my own personal objective of 600 kms in 4 days. I am not a professional athlete, in fact I have a full-time day job, a house and second-hand Type 1 Diabetes. I’m just a regular guy who loves to ride a bicycle and who believes that we always have a choice. We can be the complainer or we can choose to do something. It doesn’t have to be huge, but it’s still something. Quite often these little “somethings” can make all the difference. You just never know… Like during the relay stop at the Pharmasave in Truro, Nova Scotia when a young boy and his mom came up to see us. The young boy was very impressed to see the bikes, especially the tandem. His mom told us that he just loved riding. She also told us that he had just recently been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I knew exactly how she felt. You could see the pain and suffering in her eyes. Or when we stopped on the side of the road somewhere between Woodstock and Edmundston, New Brunswick, literally in the middle of nowhere quite early on a Tuesday morning, 3 young kids and their grand-mother came running down a driveway with a $20 bill in their hand. They had heard about the relay on TV and just happened to glance out their window when they saw our caravan. Often the little things are what touch us the most…

There are times in life when it’s just gonna hurt… no matter what. So, you better make sure it’s worth it.

Sometimes it is about the bike...

We’re just back from our vacation in New England. It was a family trip, but I still managed to fit in some quality time on two wheels. Adele got her day at the Coco Keys water theme park, my wife (and Adele) got their shopping day and I got a day to race my bike.

The race course was dry, fast, flowing and had a bit of everything to challenge cyclists of all levels. About 350 riders had made the trip to the Massuchusetts cross-country mountain bike championships on Sunday, August 1st in a small town called Oxford outside of Boston. As I lined up on the start line I had absolutely no idea where I fit in with my competition. It would all be sorted out in a few minutes. The start was quite painful as usual. Eventually my body figured out how to deal with my effort and I settled comfortably in 3rd position in my age group at the end of the 2nd of 4 laps. Not long after that I heard someone come up behind me. As I glanced over my shoulder, I noticed his plate number: 424. He was in my category. We rode together for the next 1.5 laps. I’d distance myself from him in the technical sections but he’d motor back onto my wheel on the road sections. He’d never pass me. He just sucked my wheel. I managed to get away on the loose rocky climb and rode really hard to try to maintain the gap, but he eventually caught back up to me. Having burnt almost all of my matches trying to stay away, he passed me. In my lactic acidic spent state, I just sat up and gave up. I just let him go.

Then, as my head dropped in defeat, I got a quick glimpse of the blue band on my left wrist. The words ‘Cure Diabetes’ are written on this JDRF wrist band that I was proudly wearing, but all that was showing was the word ‘Diabetes’. I then thought of all of Adele’s used needles that I had disposed of that morning (and stabbed myself in the process). I thought of the highs and lows that Adele had endured because of the new “routine” since being on vacation for the last few days and what each and every person living with Type 1 deals with… constantly… each and every day… 24/7… At that point, adrenaline and passion overtook the physical pain that I had been feeling a few seconds earlier. Screw you Diabetes and screw you # 424!! I shifted onto my big ring and started pouring every single watt of power that I had left into the pedals. I caught and passed # 424. As the last few molecules of my last energy gel reached my leg muscles, I dropped into the last section of single track taking the fast but more technical line between 2 huge rocks. I couldn’t make any mistakes. I was cleaning the section faster than all of my other laps. Then, my front wheel suddenly washed out on one of the loose corners. As my foot came out of my pedal and I went off course, # 424 flew by me, stood up and sprinted away. I had lost. As it turned out, we were racing for 4th instead of 3rd (last podium spot) which alleviated the agony of defeat a bit.

As I was cleaning up after the race I realized that even if I didn’t get to step on the podium that day, I still won. I carried on with passion and managed to find inspiration through pain and suffering. I managed to tap deeper into my unlimited energy supply (by the way, you too have one of these). I managed to avoid the temptation to just sit up and coast. I had fully and completely lived despite… I had practiced what I preach to Adele…

My 2010 cycling adventures are still far from done. There’s another very important date that has been circled on my calendar for quite some time now… From Saturday, August 14th to Tuesday, August 17th, I will be riding my bike as part of the Maritimes team in the national Cyclebetes relay to raise funds to find a cure for Juvenile Diabetes. During these 4 days, we will cover 1000 kms biking from Halifax to the Quebec border.

You can help me reach my goal by donating here:
http://jdrfca.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=777&participantID=44614

Stay tuned for updates on my Cyclebetes adventures here on the Type 1 Game…

The business of broken body parts...

A few weeks ago, Adele started to be very insulin resistant for some reason. I'm still not sure if it was the heat / humidity, fatigue, pre-pubescent hormones, a virus or the fact that she's grown quite a bit in the last few months, but changes made to her basals and meal/snack ratios seem to have brought things back under control. Times like those are scary and they remind us that things can turn bad very, very quick while playing the Type 1 game. We convince ourselves that we're in control but in reality we're not at all. It's like walking on the yellow centre line of a major highway. Even if you're extremely cautious, the risk of getting hit is still very high.

This post has been in draft for a few weeks now (ok, more like a whole month) so the topic is not so recent, but the message is still worth sharing. Last month was the JDRF walk to cure Type 1 Diabetes. The weather was great and I think that it's the year that Adele had the most fun with her friends and family walking and then playing in the inflatable play park. This is our 8th year participating in the walk. You can usually recognize the new Type 1 gamers at the walk. They often have lots of enthusiasm and hope. Being newer to the Type 1 game, maybe they haven't fully accepted the life sentence and see it as a "temporary" condition since we're supposedly very "close to a cure". The veteran gamers participate in the walk as well but they almost seem to have lost a bit of that enthusiasm. Maybe it's truly accepting the Type 1 sentence or it's just that they're so tired from the 24/7 gaming. They may simply be burnt out? I'm not really sure where we're at in this categorization. I truly believe that a cure is possible but also aware that it's not as simple as I once thought it was. Sadly, everyone except for the Type 1 gamers themselves and their loved ones are only interested in a cure for Type 1 if there's still money to be made. It's a business and very sad to be taken advantage of like that, but that's how it is. Diabetes is part of the sickness business where there are lots of people raking in the big bucks. At least with JDRF, I believe that they have the Type 1 gamers best interest at heart and that they're trying to do everything that they can to accelerate a cure. But, on the other hand, too many people simply put the dollar ahead of human wellness.

So, given this realization, do we still talk about a cure with Adele and hope that one day she will be free of this never-ending 24/7 struggle? Yes, we sure do. We don't tell her that someday she WILL be cured, but we tell her that it is our duty as gamers to do as much as we can to help make this happen. We want her to have confidence in the universe instead of being depressed and negative about her state. We talk about what we'd do if or when she's cured. We talk about how we'd celebrate and go on a dream vacation. She knows that it certainly won't happen tomorrow or maybe not even in her lifetime, but she still gets excited about it. Without this dream, all hope is lost. Yeah, we're definitely tired and we now realize that a cure is much more complicated than we once thought it was or that many often make it seem, but damnit we're not giving up, trying our best to enjoy the NOW and taking our responsibility as Type 1 gamers to raise awareness and support JDRF's dedication for a cure.

One thing that I thought of and appreciated at the walk was the feeling of normalacy with testing Adele's blood sugar in public. It feels good to be able to stop and test amongst people who get it. No one looks at you wondering what you're doing and Adele doesn't feel as self-consious since she is now the norm. Feeling understood is a good feeling. Talking to the father of a young Type 1 gamer, he told my wife that his daughter had just started playing soccer. He's at each and every one of her games, but he's really never seen her play. We understood exactly what he meant, but non-gamers may not get it. You see, the entire time that he is standing on the side of the soccer field he is wondering and worrying about her blood sugar level. He's looking at her face for signs of hypoglycemia, he's doing math in his head trying to predict when her insulin is going to peak, he's trying to convince himself that she's okay. I know exactly the feeling since I've also lived it many, many times. Others see a young girl having fun playing soccer while her Diabetes caregiver sees numbers. It's a constant struggle that is difficult to grasp unless you've lived it. People try to understand and be nice by asking how her control is and making assumptions that because we've been doing this for many years now that her "numbers have stabilised". We only wish...

The race for the cure is on...

1 month since my last post. Geez, that makes me feel very unblogworthy :-( The problem is that every year at this time someone pushes the fast-forward button on my life. Biking season is in full swing, JDRF fund raising including our Cyclebetes ride, days get longer which usually means a later bedtime for Adele and less time for me to blog.

Now, in my defense, all of this time that I spend on my bike is in fact not only beneficial for my mental and physical health but also to accelerate the cure. Even if it appears as a lazy way to update my blog, here's the press release for our Cyclebetes 200 ride as well as the national Cyclebetes relay. Like the past 3 years, I'm really excited about the ride !

You can make a pledge here if you want to support our initiative: http://jdrfca.donordrive.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=donorDrive.participant&eventID=777&participantID=44614

New Brunswick Dad Delivers on a Promise

Dieppe dad and avid cyclist Mike LeBlanc is delivering on a very important promise. “I am delivering a promise to my 10 year old daughter Adele who was diagnosed with type 1 (juvenile) diabetes eight years ago. I will do everything I can to help find a cure. Cyclebetes is an opportunity for me to combine two passions, cycling and supporting juvenile diabetes research. It makes me feel alive. It gives me hope. It represents taking a stand and making a difference. It enables me to meet and interact with positive do-something people. It inspires me to keep pushing. It makes me feel less alone. It empowers me and my family. I want to set an example for Adele I want her to see me throwing every bit of passion and enthusiasm I’ve got towards something so important”.

Mike is a member of the Cyclebetes MaritimeTeam and will be cycling relay style 980 kms from Halifax to the small town of Boundry at the Quebec border. For some of that time he will be riding ‘Di-Betsey’ the Cyclebetes tandem bike that symbolizes that great things are accomplished in ‘tandem’ with others. Mike is also the driving force behind the Cyclebetes 200km event in Moncton, “a lot of local riders have told me it’s the best ride of the year and the event that they most look forward to, so hopefully we can keep it going for a long time. Our ride has raised about $20,000 in 3 years. This year community riders will ride alongside the provincial riders – it’s going to be amazing.” Mike and 9 other members of the Cyclebetes Maritime Team will kick off the first leg of the National Relay on August 14 from Black Rock Beach, Pleasant Point, Halifax the relay culminates in Victoria, BC on September 5, 2010. On August 15th the Maritime Team will be travelling through New Brunswick with a stop at Mike’s Bike Shop in Dieppe where the FUN starts at 8 am with a short 1km family ride and the big 200 km ride to follow.

Details and registration:http://www.mbscycling.org/cyclebetes2010/cyclebetes200.php

Type 1 diabetes affects 246 million people worldwide – most of them are children. “Living with type 1 is like being a fugitive on America's most wanted list. You can never fully relax and be at ease. You're always looking over your shoulder, living with constant apprehension, trying to make predictions as to what ‘diabetes’ next move will be and trying your best to be one step ahead of it. Type 1 diabetes is very unpredictable and sneaky so even the most vigilant eventually get caught. A cure would mean being able to be truly free again. If everyone understood how truly devastating type 1 diabetes is and in even in the smallest of ways supported efforts to help find a cure we'd surely see one in Adele's lifetime. That’s what I’m hoping for... that's my dream”, Mike emphatically adds.

Cyclebetes is the legacy of Team H2V. In 2007 Vancouver design executive Kyle Balagno made a promise to his 12 year old daughter. He vowed would do everything in his power to help find a cure for her type 1 diabetes before she graduated high school. He had 6 years and a very tall order to fill. Together with 4 friends he hatched a plan – do something big that hadn’t been done – they would cycle across Canada relay style in 9 days. The naysayers laughed and shook their heads. The 5 recreational cyclists named themselves Team H2V (Halifax to Vancouver) and began a 6 month training regime. On September 14, 2007 after dipping their tires into the water at Halifax’s Black Rock Beach they were off. Team H2V fuelled by a father’s love and determination and the support of friends faced hurricane winds, torrential rains, sub zero temperatures and the tortuous grade of the Rocky Mountains. Through it all they persevered, one rotation at a time. They did make, but not in the stated 9 days. Team H2V jubilantly arrived in 8! Team H2V raised close to one million dollars for the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation (JDRF) and garnered a Guinness World Record. Their indomitable can do spirit and the desire to make a difference is at the heart of Cyclebetes.

Website: http://www.cyclebetes.com/

Mike LeBlanc is available for interviews

Contact:
Cheryl Wilson-Stewart
Cyclebetes Community Awareness Co-ordinator
Email: Cheryl@cyclebetes.com
Telephone: 604.538.7383
Cell: 604.833.3563

CGM buddies

It's been a while... I usually try to update my blog once a week, but have not been too good in that sense lately. I missed blog week last week as well. So, what's my excuse? No excuses. Basically life and Type 1 gaming. So, it's time to get back on track with a new post...

After supper the other night Adele wanted to remove her Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) sensor. It was 5 days old, which means that we could still get another day out of it. And it was working really, really good. The numbers were really close to her meter readings. But it had started to come out after swimming so I had to do a slight "patch job" with an Opsite dressing (thin "sticker" that we use to keep CGM sensors and pump infusion sets from pullling out). This patch job made the skin not breathe very well and it was getting quite itchy. I told her to keep it on since it was working so well. She then told me "You don't know what it's like to have Diabetes and to have this sensor and infusion set stuck to your skin all of the time". Crap, it's so true. I don't know. I don't even have a clue what it's feels like to be in Adele's shoes.

A few hours later, after I finished my bike ride, Adele told me that she had removed her CGM sensor, that she couldn't stand it anymore, it was just too itchy. She felt like she needed to justify that she took the sensor out. When I was tucking her into bed, I told her that I wasn't mad at her because she had removed it and that she was right, I don't have a clue what it's like to have Type 1. Then she challenged me to insert and wear a CGM sensor for 6 days to see what it feels like, to experience that "itchy" feeling. I told her that I would if I could, but that sensors were too expensive to "waste" one. Then it hit me. We had a few expired sensors left from the last box. I told her that next time that she inserted a sensor that I would insert one as well. Mine would not work without a transmitter or a pump to display the numbers, but at least I would somewhat know what it feels like to have a small wire splintered into my skin as well as an Opsite dressing covering it all and holding it in place.

As a bike racer, I remember being frustrated a few years back after repeatedly being beaten by a fellow competitor. He was my age, also had a full-time job, family and no matter how hard I trained, I just couldn't seem to beat him. I told myself that he was just genetically gifted, a freak of nature really and that's why I couldn't keep up with him no matter what I did. I told myself that he just had better genes. But then, a friend told me that the reason why I couldn't beat him wasn't that he was physically stronger than me due to genetics, but rather that he could suffer more than I could. Hmmmm... At first I thought that was absurd, that it couldn't be that simple. "I can suffer with the best of them" is what I thought. But maybe he was right. Maybe I was giving up unconsciously to avoid feeling that extra level of pain and discomfort? Maybe I was losing because I was just too 'soft'?

My first sensor insertion seems to support this 'softness' theory and strongly suggests that I really am a wuss, a coward, a big chicken and a wimp. Looking at that long needle made me want to back out of my commitement, but I knew that once I told Adele that I was going to do it that there was no backing out. I can't deny that I was afraid. I used the skin numbing emla cream. Luckily this wasn't against the rules since Adele also insists on using it for her sensor insertions also. I inserted her sensor and she pushed the button to insert mine. I was trying to be as brave as her, but deep inside I braced myself for the pain. The needle seemed huge (it actually is huge!). Luckily with the numbed skin I didn't really feel a thing during the insertion. It certainly didn't hurt. We secured everything in place with the Opsite dressings. Adele started CGMing and I started pretending to CGM. The next few days, Adele kept asking me how my sensor was holding up and I kept an eye on hers. After 4 days, hers started to give bad readings, we tried to recalibrate to make it work, but with no luck after numerous attempts we decided that Adele could remove it. I wanted to try to keep mine in for the full 6 days, but as soon as Adele removed hers, she also pulled mine off. I guess she wanted to give me the same type of relief that she had just experienced by taking hers off and finally letting the skin breath and begin to heal.

I'm happy to have done this and hopefully it helped make Adele feel supported and that I was at least trying to understand what it's like to be in her shoes. So many times have I wished that I could transfer Diabetes onto myself instead of her. It made me feel a bit closer to her every time I'd notice the sensor just above my belt. I forgot about it many times when I was out and about. I even almost accidentally tore it off while showering, but it was still always there. And it started to itch after a day. I could usually get busy doing something else to help me forget about the itchyness, but I could still feel this thing that didn't really belong and that my body didn't really like being there. The skin even remained itchy and irritated 3 or 4 days after the sensor was removed. It also made me feel bad in that this isn't an experiment for Adele, it's her reality. Yeah, sure we could get her off of the pump / CGM and go back to multiple daily injections, but that option doesn't seem much more appealing. As helpful as all of these new technologies are in regards to Type 1 gaming, they are in NO WAY close to a cure. They keep Type 1 gamers alive... and make pharmaceutical companies richer and richer (sorry, I just had to add that last part).

So now when I see the wheel in front of me pulling away during a bike race when my legs and whole body are screaming in pain, I think of Adele and of all that she must go through each and every day and I suck it up and pedal a little harder. I choose to push deeper into the pain. At least I have that choice...

Now

I still seem to be going through a certain mourning. After 7 and a half years I should be over it right? That's what people keep telling me. That and it's not cancer. I really appreciate the thought and feel very lucky that it isn't cancer and that we get to keep Adele for now, but it still is Type 1 Diabetes and unless you're a fellow Type 1 gamer or you've lived in our shoes you have no idea what it's like.

Going through the day to day motions of constant monitoring, counting, calculating, bolusing, testing, guesstimating, not sleeping through the night... now seems somewhat normal. We've become very good at making it seem like we have everything under control at all times which is really not the case. Experienced Type 1 gamers are very good at creating the appearance of health and being normal. And no one really wants to hear about it all after a while. They just want to move on. For us, that old news isn't going away anytime soon. It's in our face 24/7.

So, we seem to have the day to day details dailed in for now. What about the future? I've been thinking about Adele's life when she grows up as a Type 1 diabetic. How will she deal with all of this extra day to day Type 1 work on top of everything else that she'll need to do like work, meeting deadlines, career, family...? At 22 years old, she'll already have 20 years of Type 1 Diabetes. Each and every day of Type 1 gaming takes it's toll on the player's health. You have an organ that no longer works, so the game consists of trying your best to do the job that the organ (pancreas) once did. Artificial organ functionality is never as good as the real thing. Each minute that blood sugar is out of range brings us one step closer to complications. Insulin, along with all of the latest available technology, is not a cure, it's life-support.

We have never really sat Adele down and explained to her the possible complications that she may face in her future. But, she's caught on that playing the Type 1 game is not just about needles. She seems to have figured out that it goes beyond that. She really wants a family when she grows up and asked us the other week if having Diabetes could prevent her from having children. Then, as she was testing her blood sugar a few days later she told me that she's sometimes afraid that she won't have any blood left in her fingers and that she won't be able to test. This week she told me she is sometimes afraid that she'll go really low and will die. We reassure her when she has thoughts and questions like these, but she surely still feels our worry. But, she's a kid, so a few minutes later she's already forgotten about the whole thing and is busy thinking about what she'd like to play next. She has presence. She lives in the moment. She lives in the now. Having observed this, I challenged myself to be more like her, to try to live more in the moment. It's strange, but this seemingly simple decision prompted an entire shift in my mood. Instead of my mindset being 10+ years in the future or a few years in the past, I concentrated on NOW. That night, I tested Adele while she was sleeping and her blood glucose was good. I knew that for now she was okay. I took a few minutes to cherish and take in that feeling of okayness. I appreciated the moment. When you think about it, the now is the only thing that is a sure thing. The nature of the Type 1 game makes it very difficult to live in the now since the objective is to look at where the numbers are, have been and then try to predict where they're going. Not exactly living in the moment... But I think that it's still important to be conscious of exactly where we're at and to try to maximize our time in the Now dimension and be more at peace.

So that's my new challenge, to develop a new habit of 'just being' more often... I invite you to give it a try as well... and let me know how it works out.

CGMless gaming

Adele's last Continuous Glucose Monitoring (CGM) sensor only lasted 3 days. It was inserted into her buttock and she was begging to take it out after 3 days because it was very, very itchy. The skin surrounding the insertion site was very red and inflamed. After trying to convince her to leave it in since it was working well, we gave in and let her take it out. After all, it is her body and she's the one who has to wear this thing 24/7. She doesn't have a choice with the insulin pump infusion site unless we go back to multiple daily injections, but she can go without the CGM. This was last Thursday. We wanted to insert a new one for our busy weekend, but we just couldn't seem to make the time for it. Adele insists on freezing the skin with the emla cream before the insertion (this takes like an hour), then the system needs to be calibrated... Anyway, we were running with our eyes closed, back to making dosage decisions using finger prick results only.

Saturday morning was the first swim of the spring session. Adele now swims from 11 am to noon instead of 10 am to 11 am in the last session. This means less active breakfast insulin on board and her morning snack an hour before getting into the water instead of a light snack right before swimming (yeah, I know that you're not supposed to swim until at least 1 hour after eating, but sometimes she just has to eat something to avoid going low). Swimming is a tricky situation. She's disconnected from her pump since it can't be submerged in water and I'm way up in the grandstands for the entire hour, so I can't ask her how she's feeling. A low is really not something you want to happen when she's swimming in 12 feet of water. I'm watching her like a hawk the whole time even if there's nothing I could do if I noticed that she was having a hard time staying above water except maybe shout at the teacher and/or lifeguard. Her sugar was 5.9 (106) when we got to the pool. 15 grams of carbs with no bolus and she was 7.2 (130) after the session, so we nailed it this time. I was still quite anxious during her class though, continuously trying to convince myself that my decision was correct.

That afternoon was the long-awaited meet and greet with Jason Earle (Jackson from the Hannah Montana show). During the 2 hour wait to see Jason, we tested to find Adele's sugar high at 13.8 (248) 1.5 hours after lunch. This could have been avoided with the CGM. We would have seen the rising sugar and could have corrected before it got this high. We corrected and she came down before supper. She was actually low at 3.6 (65).

The next day, she needed 45 grams of carbs prior to her swimming lesson. Her sugar before was 5.8 (104) and 6.4 (115) after, so again we were lucky to nail it. I figured she needed more insulin for her lunch given that the day before she went high, so I changed her lunch insulin to carb ratio. At 2:15 pm, just before going over to her friends house to play, her sugar was 9.8 (176). A tad high, but since she's going to be at her friend's house, on her own in regards to her Diabetes and without her CGM, I decided to not correct and wait and see in another hour. I called her at 3:30 pm and told her to test. She said that she felt low. She didn't feel it while they were playing on the trampoline (had I known that they were trampolining I would have called sooner!). So, I tried to remain calm and let her test. Her sugar was 2.4 Crap ! The CGM would certainly have caught this. I told her to sit down and drink a juice and take a Dex 4 tablet. This wasn't a problem since her body needed and was craving sugar soooooo badly. After her juice and sugar tablet, she said she still felt low and wanted to eat more. I told her to sit and wait for the sugar to enter her bloodstream and make her feel "normal" again. It's not always easy trying to reason with a 9 year old over the phone when every single cell in her body is litterally starving and in desperate need of fuel. When all was said and done, she had taken in 33 grams of carbs. A bit much, but I knew she was safe from the low. I told her that I would call back in 20 minutes to make sure she was okay. 10minutes later she called. She had tested and told me the result was 4.8 (86). She was good for now, but she would likely be high by supper without a bolus for part of the ingested 33 grams of carbs. I guesstimated 25 grams was enough to treat the low, so I told her to give herself a bolus of 0.3 units for the extra 8 grams. I was lucky in that it was the correct answer, her sugar was 5.0 (90) at 5 pm.

Close calls and constant changes are what playing the Type 1 game is all about... We inserted a new CGM sensor last night. It's been accurate so far and a little less scary to now be running around with our eyes open...

The double edged sword and our latest CGM adventure

It's been a while. The last 2 weeks have been quite hectic which explains my blog absence. The first week was due to non-Type 1 Game events that got me quite worked up. I apologize if these frustrations came out here. Sorry Alice. The blog is a medium to blow off steam, I just don't want anyone to feel like they're in the line of fire during my outbreaks. Last week was a longish battle with a cold virus. I'm back this week, and feel the need to post, so here we go...

All Type 1 gamers need heros. They need players that they can look up to. They need role models who are thriving despite and even because of their Diabetes. They need someone that makes them feel less alone. They need someone that gives them confidence to believe that they can do ANYTHING that they set their mind to if they're willing to do the necessary Type 1 Game work that goes along with this success. They need individuals like Chris Jarvis, Sebastien Sassville, Jonny White, Phil Southerland (and the other Type 1's on the Team Type 1 professional cycling team), Kris Freeman, Gary Hall, John Chick, Adam Morrison, Chris Dudley, Nicole Johnson, Nick Jonas and George canyon.

Each of the gamers in this list give other Type 1 gamers hope. I mean, they've accomplished so much in their quest for excellence in what they do. They are world class athletes, adventurers and entertainers. Many, many non-gamers have attempted to get as far without as much success. These individuals have gotten there despite (or maybe because of?) their Type 1 Diabetes. How inspiring ! So, what's the problem? Well, as far as being role models, they're really doing too good of a job. In a way, they're making it look too easy. Google any one of them and look at pics. They don't look one bit like they have a serious life-threatening chronic disease. In fact they look amazing! They appear to be healthier than the huge majority of North Americans. Most "normal" people like me would do just about anything to look and be more like them. They are true winners in every sense. And yet, they'd die in a matter of hours without insulin.

So, what's my point? The success stories are worth sharing and like I said will provide much needed inspiration to the gamers facing the same challenges, but we must not forget the seriousness of the disease and it's implications. I find that too often this is overlooked. Most non gamers believe that Diabetes is always reversible and seeing and hearing about these Type 1 game heros really reinforces this misconception because no one sees what they go through to achieve their goals and thrive the way that they do. The silent Type 1 game struggles and suffering side needs to be shared because most people have no clue what it's like to play this game. And until more people realize what it's really, really like, true awareness is not really happening and we're not accelerating the much needed cure as much as we could. Don't be shy, tell someone your story... Share what this game puts you through... Because without this, we're missing the Type 1 awareness boat.

Our 1 year Continuous Glusose Monitoring (CGM) anniversary is coming up in about a month. The sensors seem to be getting more and more precise. This last batch seems to have about a 1 to 2 mmol/Ls (18 to 36 mg/dl) difference with the meter reading. It does however seem to have a harder time with quickly changing values as well as higher highs and lower lows.

When we first started using the CGM, we set the low alarm to warn us if Adele went low. We weren't using the high alarm at first to avoid adding to the too many alarms that seemed to be going off way too often. Then last month, I set the high alarm to 15.0 (270), high enough so that it should only go off in extreme cases. Last night, when my wife woke up to check Adele's blood sugar at 1:30 am, it was at 14.0 (too high), she corrected with 0.7 units of insulin. We went back to sleep. Then at 4:45 am, we were awoken by Adele's pump alarm. It had been screaming for a while now and the whole pump was vibrating by the time that I got to it. Adele was sleeping. I was surprised when I glanced down to see what the problem was. Her CGM was saying that her blood sugar was 16.0 (288) trending upward. I tested with a finger prick and her meter. The result was 15.7 (283). That didn't make any sense. The correction at 1:30 am should have brought her down. She didn't eat anything. Either she is coming down with something or there is a problem with her site. I really hate changing her site on a school morning, even less in the middle of the night! Then, in my half-asleep stupor, I noticed that something was different. Her pump was not wireless, so why wasn't the tubing attached to it anymore? Crap, the tubing broke right where it enters the insulin cartridge. I had no idea how long it had been this way, but it did explain the high (and still rising) blood sugar. She was not getting any insulin at all. I filled and installed a new insulin cartridge and tube and reconnected Adele to her lifeline. I then gave her 1.2 units of insulin to hopefully bring her sugar down before wake time. She woke up at 10 (180), still high, but much better than the 30ish (540ish) number we would have likely seen had the CGM not caught it. Thank you CGM...

Who, why and how?

As a result of seeming a bit "just ready to blow" in my last post, I felt like clarifying the who, the why and the how of the Type 1 Game blog...

I started this blog in 2008 to share what it really means to live with Type 1 Diabetes. I started it to share what it took to create the appearance of normalcy that most Type 1 gamers tend to project. I started it because there was no way that I could explain a Type 1 gamer's reality in a short conversation to someone who asked or to someone that I was trying to convince to donate and support the JDRF cause. The goal was to use it as a medium to express some of my innermost raw emotions. Hopefully some would relate and others would realize the importance of a much needed cure. I started this blog because I was no longer ashamed of playing this game.

I am not insane, crazy nor clinically depressed. I do however struggle with playing this game some times more than others. Blog posts during these times reflect these feelings. Expressing how I feel and spending some quality time at the gym, on my skis or on my bike enables me to re-establish balance during these hard times. It's a delicate balance, but it seems to be working for the most part.

I've met many, many extraordinary people through my involvement with the Type 1 community and JDRF. I've met lots of fellow gamers since beginning on this journey. I've met some gamers who have suffered a whole lot due to the physical ravages of the Type 1 game as well as others who have been gaming for a very long time without any long term complications. One similarity between those who have dodged problems are that they're constantly looking for better Type 1 game techniques and tools. They are not complacent to "just being" and accepting their fate of eventually becoming another statistic in the modern medicine database of diabetes related complications. They dare to challenge the phrase "It can't be done" or "That's impossible". They have the guts to charter the unknown Type 1 territory and simply ask "Why not?". I am inspired by these people. They give me hope. Like all great people who lived and changed our world before them, they dare to think outside of the box. They've taken their destiny in their own hands and have decided to go above and beyond what "normal" people do just because they've been told to or because they've always done it that way. So one of my goals as a father is to try to teach Adele how to enrich her life this way.

I feel cheated by modern medicine in a way. I feel that they are missing the boat in regards to the role of diet to better control blood glucose levels. I agree that the whole food topic is a delicate issue, especially when dealing with kids. If you restrict them too much, they're much more likely to overindulge once they're older and no longer under your constant supervision. But then on the other hand, they can't (or should I say "shouldn't") eat whatever they want whenever they want in my opinion. I would have liked it if we would have been presented with this reality when Adele was diagnosed and when she started pumping. I am 100% convinced that lower carb, whole food eating makes for more stable blood sugar and better control of Type 1 Diabetes. Why aren't more doctors preaching this? Is it simply an extension of our distorted concept of a "normal diet" in North America?

Those are my values and beliefs, now back to reality. Do I freak out and overreact each and every time Adele's blood sugar is out of range? No, I try my best to remain calm and make the necessary corrections. Do I totally ignore our doc's orders and start inventing my own Type 1 game rules? No, I follow our management plan all the while always looking for alternative tips and tricks. Do we only feed Adele lettuce and raw nuts? No, she eats "normal" (Gluten Free) food like most other kids her age, but we still take the time to discuss best food choices and try to give her enough information to be able to make good choices when she'll be the only one deciding what she puts in her mouth. Do we manage Diabetes or does it manage us? Is Diabetes in control or are we in control? I aim for more of a co-existance built on mutual respect.

Am I expecting too much?

Just as we were getting a bit too comfortable playing the Type 1 game, the rules have all changed on us again. Looking at Adele's blood sugar values Wednesday evening, I said to myself "Wow, what a good day, the small changes that I had just made to her insulin-to-carb ratios were just right. We can totally do this. And really it ain't so bad."

Here are Wednesday's game highlights:

Wednesday, March 24th, 2010

7:00 am -> 7.1 / 128

9:50 am -> 5.6 / 101

11:50 am -> 5.4 / 97

3:30 pm -> 5.9 / 106

5:25 pm -> 5.9 / 106

8:30 pm -> 7.1 / 128

But then, things suddenly changed. Just like they always do without notice or any logical explanation.

10:00 pm -> 12.1 / 212 (too high, corrected with 0.8u)

Thursday, March 24th, 2010

2:00 am -> 10.3 / 185 (still too high, corrected with 0.2u)

7:00 am -> 14.3 / 257 (still too high, quite aggressive with insulin to correct and cover b'fast, gave 3.0u)

8:55 am -> 18.2 / 328 (still not coming down, gave another 0.5u)

10:10 am -> 7.7 / 139 (that's a bit better before am snack)

11:45 am -> 14.1 / 254 (no luck, too high before lunch)

2:00 pm -> 9.9 / 178 (coming down a bit, but still too high)

Here we go again...

Every single time that I glance down at Adele's blood glucose meter after the last beep when the result appears on the screen and I see a high number, I feel like someone has just shoved a knife right in my chest. All that I can imagine is her every organ being poisoned and attacked by the toxic high glucose blood. Images of her eyes, her kidneys and her limbs being assaulted are all that I can think about at that very moment. How would you feel if someone was physically hurting your child at a particular moment and you suddenly became aware of it? You'd likely become quite enraged (or even just "lose it") and do everything that you could to make that person stop to protect your child. Parents have been known to do pretty crazy things when it comes to protecting their offspring. And this happens to Type 1 gamers on a regular basis. Have I gotten used to it since it happens so often? No, not really. The stabbing pain that I feel at that moment doesn't hurt any less. And it also explains why I sometimes overcorrect Adele's highs by being too aggressive with insulin. At that moment, I'm usually in a state of panic wanting so bad for this Type 1 attacker to stop hurting my princess right away! My reaction is then no longer logical but rather an unconscious survival reflex.

So we're doing all that we're "supposed to". We're being "model" Type 1 gamers in the eyes of our Diabetes care providers, "doing a real good job" apparently and we're still dealing with stuff like this... And following other Type 1 blogs, I realize that we're not the only ones. Why is it that "not dying" is an acceptable Type 1 Diabetes standard in modern medecin? What about living? It may just be me not accepting this whole Type 1 life sentence, but I can't help but think that there's gotta be something better out there for our Type 1 kids...

Is it Spring already?

We've gone from winter to spring in less than 1 week in our corner of Canada. No complaints. As much as I enjoyed skiing and the other winter activities, it feels so good to be able to bike outside again. Even Adele has been asking to go biking which is usually the other way around. I know that winter isn't over yet and that we'll likely get a few snowstorms before the end of it all but I'll still take the nice weather while it lasts.

We've received the dates for this summer's Diabetes camp. I was really hoping that this would be the first year that Adele would go, but it's not looking so good. Actually, the idea is pretty much dead. I asked if a parent would be able to stay for the first night or if we could go pick Adele up so that she would sleep with us but the camp director said that wasn't possible. The only option is to drop her off and tell her "See you in a week". She really, really doesn't want to go since she rarely (ie NEVER) goes to sleepovers and she doesn't have any current friends at camp. I know that she would love it and make friends once there, but I can't go through the crying and screaming of forcing her to go and just leaving her there against her will. She goes through enough already because of the Type 1 game. Our only chance is one of her babysitters (who is also a Type 1 gamer) who is a camp counselor (or something like that?). If she would be there at the same time as Adele, then maybe (a big MAYBE) she'd be willing to give it a try. If not, we'll try again in 2011. Maybe the whole camp thing is us just being selfish wanting a week off from Type 1 gaming? Who knows?

I have an obsessive personality. My wife reminds me every once in a while and I really have no problem admitting it. I'm not compulsive, just obsessive. It's sometimes about biking, training or whatever else I have going on. Since our last Diabetes clinic apointment, I've become a victim of obsessing about Adele's A1C. For non gamers, the A1C blood test mesures the average blood glucose level for the last 3 months. What I hate about this test is that it's pretty much a setup for failure. It'll never be as good as a non-gamer. The pancreas simply does a way better job at keeping blood sugar in check compared to the human brain. It always seems to be "not good enough" or that it "could be better" or even "let's see if we can lower it even just a tad more?". Lower is supposedly better, but this has to be achieved without too many dangerously low blood sugars. I hate the test, but can't help but get caught up in the whole competition of getting a "good mark". No matter what Adele's A1C is, there is absolutely nothing more I can humanly do to help bring it down... Or maybe I should rephrase that and say that there is nothing more that I can do and still maintain sanity. See, that's where the guilt comes into play, because you can always ask yourself if you could do more. I really don't want Adele to get caught up in that guilt game... It sucks and absolutely nothing good comes out of it. The psychological aspect of the Type 1 game is often overlooked, but is still a very, very big part of it... and sadly most often this suffering is not apparent from the outside.

So, back to my A1C obsession, Adele's result had gone down a bit since the last one, but still not enough to meet the goal in my obsessive mind. Our doc suggested that she's now old enough to aim for a lower blood glucose at night. Lower numbers throughout the night should be the single change that will have the biggest bang for our buck in regards to lowering her A1C. Food intake and insulin boluses to cover them during the day make it much more difficult to maintain a flat blood glucose variation line compared to basal insulin only during the night. We already wake up every night to check, so we should be able to catch lows. Nights when we're using the Continuous Glucose Monitor (CGM) gives us an extra layer of security given the alarm that goes off when her blood sugar drops too low. We're now aiming for the 6 to 7 (108 to 126) range instead of 8 to 9 (144 to 162). The funny thing about this is that we aim for 6 or 7, but most often we're not there when she (or I) go to bed.

One of the things that I hate about tightly controlled blood sugars is the extra snacks that need to be given more often to avoid lows. I hate "force feeding" like that. We try to teach Adele to not overeat and listen to her body, but then other times, like tonight when we decided to go for an unplanned bike ride, she NEEDS to eat something before heading out to avoid going low. Sometimes I just wish we could... just go for a bike ride without obsessing about the numbers !

The highs and lows of skiing

Sleep. If there is one thing aside from a cure that I could change in the Type 1 games rules, it would be that "real" sleep would be allowed. Being able to just go to sleep, uninterrupted with peace of mind would be the the first ammendement that I would make... if only it worked this way...

For non-gamers out there, a popular analogy of what night time is like for a Type 1 gamer is the nighttime feedings that you go through with a young baby that persist beyond the baby years. I like to compare it to those nights when you're caring for a child sick with the flu. Times when you're planning to go to bed and you notice that your child is burning up. The last Tylenol dose isn't working anymore. You give some more but can't sleep until the fever goes down a bit. After all, such a high fever like this is dangerous and needs to be watched closely. You're worried that the symptoms will get worse and that the fever medication will be enough to keep the temperature down. If it does get worse, you know that it surely means a trip to the emergency room. You finally fall asleep exhausted, but quite uneasy because of the uncertainty in not knowing how your child's body will react to this flu virus and medication. You end up waking up a few hours later in a panic and can't get back to sleep without checking on the child to see if the fever has broken. You wake up the next morning very tired and go through the motions of starting your day...

I remember feeling an overwhelming relief when Adele would get over a flu like this before we started playing the Type 1 game. "She's finally over it, we can finally stop worrying and get some much needed quality sleep tonight" is what I'd say. Type 1 gamers never get this relief. They never experience this closure. They never get to move on. Type 1 players never get over their Diabetes. It's chronic. Life is spent walking on thin ice and you never know if or when you're going to fall through...

Adele has been asking to go snowboarding for a long while now. This desire of hers gained momentum during the Olympic games. An opportunity came up last Saturday so we headed out to our local ski hill. Adele opted for skis but I gave the snowboard a try. Adele had never skied and I had never snowboarded. As the saying goes "Snow = Low", so we were anticipating less insulin and extra snacks to keep low blood sugar at bay. Adele was high before lunch (12.0 or 216). Since we were still home and had a 1.5 hour drive to the hill, I gave her full lunch bolus. I wanted to bring her sugar down and we'd have a snack before heading out to the ski lift. We tested again when we arrived at the hill and her sugar was even higher (18.0 or 324). Crap ! Was it the excitement? Was it a bad pump site? Who knows? I gave her 1.0 units of insulin and no snack and we proceeded to burning off this excess sugar on the ski hill. Two hours later she had gone down to 8.3 (149) and was hungry so she ate a Fruit to Go bar and gave herself 0.4 units of insulin. At 5:45 pm her sugar had slowly dropped to a very good 6.5 (117). The Type 1 gods were finally cooperating. We ate, bolused and got another hour in out on the hill. We tested just before leaving for home at 7:30 pm and her blood glucose was 17.2 (310). Crap ! I guess skiing doesn't affect her blood sugar as much as other winter outdoor activities? Maybe "Snow <> Low"?

We got home late at around 9 pm. Adele's sugar was coming down (9.0 or 162). She ate a small bedtime snack - some crackers and fruit. We didn't bolus and she went to bed. At 10 pm she had dropped to 3.6 (65). We had never experienced a delayed sensitivity to insulin like this before. Her sugar was dropping and we were having a hard time getting it back up. About 60 to 70g of carbs later, 2 hours pump suspended and 5 or 6 blood glucose checks through the night with a lowest low of 1.9 (34), she pretty much slept through the whole thing (she barely remembers drinking the juice just before midnight). She woke up at 8:15 am the next morning at 6.5 (117) and I threw myself out of bed and started going through the motions of the day...

Bittersweet

I had been bitter about Diabetes in the past few weeks. My friends will be leaving in about a month for a cycling vacation in Virginia. Over a week of just biking, eating and sleeping. My idea of a "perfect" personal vacation. I missed it last year, but our family vacation to Florida during March break with a bike ride every day before or after visiting the parks made up for it. Again this year, I won't be going on that Virginia cycling vacation. The reason is not money (it would be a very cheap trip) or being able to take time off work. The reason is Adele's Diabetes. Adele is just not independant enough for me to be away for that long.

Adele was diagnosed with Celiac disease and Type 1 Diabetes a few months apart when she was 2 years old. My wife naturally took the lead on the gluten-free diet by researching what she could and could not eat. I on the other hand was better with numbers given my education and work experience and I naturally took the lead on the Diabetes management. I make all of the changes in Adele's insulin pump basal rates and snack and meal time carb ratios. My wife applies the math based on the this plan. Adele's control is not perfect, but we seem to need to make many small adjustments quite often to help try to keep things in check.

I felt guilty that I wanted and needed a vacation from playing the Type 1 game since Adele can NEVER take a vacation from it, but I still felt bitterness and self-pity because of my situation.

I usually have a hard time watching any type of sporting event whenever Adele is around. She always wants to watch her "programs" on the Disney channel. But with the Olympics the past 2 weeks this was not the case. She was very, very interested. She was asking to watch every single night. She was asking all types of questions in regards to the games and I was taking advantage of this by explaining the various sports as well as what it takes to make it to that level (not that I personally know what it takes, but rather what I think). The very structured life of an athlete training for the Olympics is not very different than that of a Type 1 gamer. The athlete follows a strict schedule of sleep, healthy eating, intense training and sacrifice often including giving up the care-free adolescent years to follow your dream. I try to explain this to Adele because in essence it's very similar to playing the Type 1 game. All of these characteristics are what make a successful Type 1 gamer.

Last weekend, Adele and her mom went to Halifax with friends for a mini March break vacation. I didn't go since I had to work on Monday. On Sunday night, after the Canada versus USA men's hockey final for the gold medal, Adele called me. She wanted to tell me all that they had done during their first day in Halifax - swimming, shopping and gluten-free pizza supper. And she also wanted to talk about Canada's overtime win in the men's hockey final. She knew that I would have watched it and wanted to recognize the hard work and the "never give up" attitude that the players had to come up with the overtime win. That's when I realized that my "talks" were not lost and that what I have been preaching is really sinking in. Yes, as a Type 1 parent I am forced to never be far from her to keep her safe, but the result of this is a huge opportunity in helping her become the best that she can be. Type 1 Diabetes has prompted me to develop a closer relationship with her than if it wasn't part of our life. Adele told me that she is going to go to the Olympics when she grows up. She is going to compete in swimming. That made me feel really proud. Not because it's my dream that she actually does make it to the Olympics, but rather the fact that she has the confidence to believe that she CAN.

My cycling vacation to Virginia will have to wait for now, I'm still too busy shaping Adele's future... And to other Type 1 parents out there, your Type 1 kids ARE listening and all of the hard work that you're doing is WORTH it !

Type 1 gamer Kris Freeman

Millions and millions have been tuning into that thing in Vancouver - the 2010 Winter Olympics. To me the Olympics represent the essence of what living really is. By living I don't mean existing, I mean really, really living life. The Olympics represent setting a goal and working towards achieving it. The basis of moving forward. It's not only about cheering for your own country, but recognizing the efforts of each and every athlete towards their quest at becoming the absolute best that they can be. As human beings we're all born with this thing called potential. Olympic Gold medalists are born each and every day. Only a few of these will develop these skills and capabilities. The others won't. It's far too easy to take the "comfortable" route. I am always moved by those who make the decision to leave this "comfort" zone and dare to tap into this potential. It's often a dark and scary place with many unknown obstacles. Not everyone has the guts to go there.

US nordic skier Kris Freeman does. After having been diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and being told by his doctors that his skiing career was over, he refused to listen. This was just another obstacle in his path that he would learn to overcome. No one had really ever done what he is doing, nordic skiing at the world class level while playing the Type 1 game.

On Saturday, February 20th, during the 30k pursuit XC ski event at the 2010 Olympics he had done everything that he could to prepare for the race including attempting to make the proper insulin adjustments for the effort. He usually nails his basal insulin and carb intake during races. It's a tricky formula. Aside from training, rest, recovery, choosing the proper ski and wax, Kris also needs to "dail in" his insulin / carb intake. And in order to perform at a World class level, blood sugar levels need to be "dead on" - too low and his muscles don't have enough fuel to function whereas too high and his muscles can't produce maximum power output or rid lactic acid. In order to win, he HAS to get it right. Easier said than done when you're playing such an unpredictable game where most of the time you're really just "winging it". There are absolutely NO guarantees.

The dosage used was the same as what he had successfully used in a past race not too long ago. That's the best that he could do - base his decision on experience and "hope for the best" really. Everything was going well in the first 3rd of the race when suddenly it wasn't... His blood sugar dropped and he could no longer continue. Laying on the side of the trail, asking for much needed sugar until a german coach gave him fast acting glucose. His race was over. Gone in an instant.

Then Kris did what playing the Type 1 game has forced him to do many times before. As soon as the fast-acting sugar kicked in and brought his blood glucose level back up to a "normal" level he got back up and finished his race... in 45th place. Not exactly the result that he had hoped for... but far more impressive than the non-Type 1 gamers that finished on the podium that day.

If there's one thing that I can hope for Adele's future is that she will dare to live like Kris... Then I'll know that she will be okay.

How little did I know...

31 years old. That's how old I was when Adele was born. With a normal pregnancy and no history of Type 1 Diabetes in our families and healthy living habits we saw no reasons whatsoever to worry that Adele would not always be the healthy bouncing baby girl that she was the day she was born. My only knowledge of Diabetes was very general (and full of misconceptions). I knew that it had something to do with sugar (ie not being able to eat any?) and injecting insulin in certain cases. I had a childhood friend's brother who was diagnosed at around 8 years old, but the whole disease and it's treatment was very vague to me.

That all changed on October 31st, 2002. No known family history of Diabetes (either Type 1 or Type 2) wasn't enough to stop what was happening. Adele's immune system started attacking and destroying the cells in her pancreas that produce insulin. There was nothing anyone could do to stop it. Type 1 Diabetes did not care if we had "healthy living habits" including regular exercise, that we didn't smoke or ate a "healthy" diet. It didn't care if we were in better condition physically than most North Americans. Adele was diagnosed as a baby at 2.5 years old. I know Type 1 gamers who were diagnosed younger, others diagnosed as pre-teens, teens as well as adults. No one is immune to Type 1 Diabetes. It can hit anyone at any time no matter how healthy, fit and thin you are.

One thing that I have learned since we were forced into playing this Type 1 game is that there are lots of diseases, some curable, some chronic, some fatal that normal people get diagnosed with each and every single day. These people are not different from you and I. Like these diseases, Type 1 Diabetes doesn't only happen to "other people".

For the longest time I was ashamed to tell people that Adele had Type 1 Diabetes. The many Diabetes misconceptions that had been carved in my head affected how I perceived others would judge us and Adele in regards to her Diabetes. I worried about what others would think. I felt like I had flawed her since one of my auto-immunity genes was certainly unknowingly passed onto her and quite possibly played a role in her getting Type 1 Diabetes. I was afraid that she would be ridiculed or excluded because of her condition. I was afraid that she would be judged given the stigma that people get Diabetes because they ate too much sugar and didn't exercise enough. I felt stupid not telling people who didn't already know, but I also felt stupid simply adding "by the way, Adele has Type 1 Diabetes" during an unrelated conversation.

It took some time, but these feelings eventually started to go away. As Type 1 gamers, it is our duty to create Type 1 awareness and education. Getting involved is part of the healing process. So don't just sit there, get out there and tell someone about Type 1 Diabetes !

Oh yeah, in case you've been asleep for the past while, the 2010 winter Olympic games are happening in Vancouver. It's the first time that Adele has an interest in the games and actually asks to watch it with me. Go Canada !!!