December. The darkest month. A reminder of the darkness inside all of
us. Everyone around me putting up all
these decorative shining lights. Trying
to brighten things up I guess. So much
hustle and bustle. So much rushing
around. So much planning and getting
ready. This year-end sprint. Society’s remedy to this dark season. I just find it all so very noisy and loud. If I’m completely honest, I don’t really care
for the Christmas holiday season. Don’t
get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with family and friends, but so much of it
just seems forced and insincere. All
meaning lost. Ruined by
consumerism. Another capitalist
casualty. Disconnected. Nature isn’t really bothered by it all. Forests.
Laying low. Animals. Cuddled up in their comfortable nests. Understanding that the dark season is really
meant for rest. For slowing down. For recovery and healing. Sunday morning. Steady north wind blowing. Temps hovering around minus six Celsius. The wet and muddy ground from a few days ago
now frozen solid. I roll down my
driveway shortly after nine. And slowly work
my way over to the other side of the river.
Abandoning myself into this crisp tranquility. A mid-ride snack. Some warm forestea. Life is good.
Really good actually. In so many
ways, I feel better this time this year than I have past years. Maybe it’s the daily 8000 IU of Vitamin D
that I’ve been supplementing with. Or all
these years of therapy and working on myself that are finally bearing fruit. It isn’t about my life finally being
perfect. I guess it’s simply about being
less scared of the dark. Out here. In nature.
Reconnected. Comfortably sitting
in the silence of my own darkness.
