Summer savoring

This whole deal.  All of it.  It’s only temporary.  This life.  This body.  This stuff that I have acquired as an exchange for my time and energy.  This fitness.  This summer weather.  It’s all just a limited time offering.  I believe that it’s very important to remind ourselves often of this fact.  To help us appreciate.  Cherish it while it lasts.  Treasure it before it’s all gone.  But lately, I have been feeling the flip side of this truth which has been creating a certain sense of urgency.  A sense of life passing me by.  A rush to get in as much as possible.  A mad dash to enjoy every single moment.  A fear of missing out.  Summer.  Heat.  Abundant light.  I just seem to thrive in these conditions.  Vacation.  Lightweight.  Easy.  My favorite season.  But this year, seemingly more than others, I feel like my summertime motivation has become infected with a strong anxiety fed drive.  Too much of a good thing that I simultaneously need to resist and give into.  Appreciating each moment by mindfully slowing down and doing less.  Less is more.  Subtracting is adding.  Lowering is heightening.  So very counterintuitive.  As we glide through the backside of this summer’s climax, I need to remind myself that I suffer whenever my life simply becomes a continuous succession of one thing after another without pauses in between.  Summer isn’t over yet.  May we remember to give ourselves enough breathing room to fully savor the last few bites.

 

Done trying

What if I just stopped trying?  Trying to keep up.  Trying to fit in.  Trying to be liked.  Trying to be perfect.  Trying to be someone else.  Trying to measure up.  Trying to prove myself.  Trying to impress.  What would happen?  Humans spend so much time trying so very hard.  No wonder we’re so very tired.  Fire isn’t trying to be hot.  Rivers aren’t trying to flow.  It’s just what they naturally do.  I have been noticing lately that whenever I feel overwhelmed and undone that I’m always also trying very hard.  Too hard.  Trying to be more or different than I already am.  Trying to control what was never mine to control.  I didn’t try to find a buddy to ride mountain bikes with in Fundy National Park.  I just loaded my Trance on the back of my truck and headed out.  Alone in the woods.  Climbing at my own pace, not trying to follow someone else’s.  Comfortably working.  Conservatively spinning.  Up to the pump track for a few laps.  Effortlessly flowing over the rolling jumps.  Carving berms.  That timeless feeling.  It just comes whenever I’m on my bike without really trying.  Not chasing accolades.  Endeavors that come from a place of self-love and passion don’t require any effort.  Just like meeting your life partner and falling madly in love.  It most often happens when we’re not trying.  We too often assume that the answer is always to try harder.  But what if it really is simply to stop trying?  I mean, who really likes a try hard anyway?  The irony of this post is that I’ve been trying to write it for over 2 weeks now…  Maybe the cure to writer’s block is simply to stop trying?