I think that one of the worse thing that a parent goes through is seeing their child suffer. Last night Adele was terrified of the long, thick needle that was going to be injected into her abdomen in order to insert her Continuous Glucose Monitoring sensor. Even with the Emla anesthetic cream, she is still terrified of the needle insertion, crying and holding onto her mother with all her might. As the person holding the needle, just about to push the release button, I felt like I was just about to stab my own daughter. I saw the fear in her eyes while she was trying so hard to be brave. Every single cell in my body was hating playing the Type 1 game so much at that very moment. I felt nauseous. There are good days and bad days while gaming. This was a very bad day.
What made it that much more difficult was that technically the Continuous Glucose Monitoring was not necessary to manage Adele's diabetes and keep her alive. We were getting the job done with finger pricks. The thing is that in order to have good glucose control while playing the Type 1 game, you need to know where the blood sugar is going. Simply knowing where it is right now is not enough. A low or high needs to be prevented before it happens instead of simply treated when it occurs. And to get a sense of where the sugar is going (either up or down) you need to test often. We got our best A1C (3 month average blood glucose level) this month, but needed 15 or more finger pokes per day to achieve this. And even with all these needles, her A1C is still not as good as a non-diabetic.
So, what do we do? I have made a promise to myself to do every single thing in my power to help find a cure for Adele's chronic disease sooner than later and to give her the best possible care in the meantime. It's my gift to her as a child until she takes full responsibility of playing the Type 1 game. Today, an insulin pump with Continuous Glucose Monitoring is the best tool available to help keep her blood sugar as close to normal as possible. It's the treatment that is closest to a healthy pancreas while helping avoiding lows and highs. Am I fullfilling my promise or am I being selfish in "forcing" this on Adele for my own piece of mind? Once the sensor is in and calibrated, it is an amazing tool that gives us much more piece of mind than finger pokes alone.
So, after the sensor insertion, lots of crying and consoling, an infusion site change (separate catheter inserted under the skin for insulin delivery), CGM calibration and a high blood sugar (17.7), I went to bed exhausted and confused...
And so many people think that all there is to Type 1 diabetes is simply avoiding sweets...
2 comments:
My son is thirteen years old, and it doesn't get any better. He and I both detest the sensor. We use it only occasionally, like when the health care team wants to see what is happening, or when he goes away (He has a class trip next month - I am in a panic state already).
I am hopeful that soon there will be a much less intrusive system because I have a hard time justifying the stress and pain that goes with CGM, not no mention the expense - unlike you, we pay out of pocket for the sensors.
I read your entries religiously. It really makes me feel as if I'm not alone. This last one broke my heart. We are in the process of getting an insulin pump for my girl and at 4 years old I see she will not be ready yet for the glucose monitor.
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