Minimalism is a new trend that has been surfacing the last few
years. The idea is to get rid of and not
accumulate too many things to free up your time, energy and budget to live a
lighter more centered life.
Minimalists and our younger generation seem to prefer experiences over
things. The older generations seemed to
think that more stuff was the answer, but this way of thinking is beginning to
shift. The tiny house movement is an
example of how this movement is taking shape.
I’m not sure that “experiences” is the best word to use to
describe what humans are longing for? Is
the whole point of us being here on this planet to create the longest “experiences”
list as possible? I think of it more as
the “feelings” that those experiences bring.
Remembering a positive experience will bring back feelings through
memories. And this is what I think
humans cherish. In the end all that will
be left are these feelings. These are
the most powerful thing that this life here has to offer us. In reality, these feelings ARE life. These feelings will be what people will talk
about at your funeral and when they remember you after you pass on. To fully embrace these feelings while we’re
alive is the way to live fully. I
believe that it is that simple.
The problem is that we can’t pick and choose which feelings
that we want to feel. By opening
ourselves to feel the positive feelings more deeply we also open ourselves up
to the not so pleasant feelings. I
purposely didn’t use the term “negative” because even if these feelings are not
pleasant, there still isn’t anything wrong with them. They are a normal part of what it means to be
alive. Like I said, to open is to open
to all feelings. There is no other way.
Society doesn’t do a very good job of teaching us this and
our self-protection human nature kicks in trying to protect us from harm and we
start unconsciously learning to avoid difficult and painful feelings. And society thinks of those who get really
good at this as the “strong” ones. They
are the ones who show no emotion, or show fake ones, going through life with
very thick armor surrounding them.
First of all this is not true strength.
And this armor also isolates us from our ability to feel the positive
feelings which are the best part of being alive.
When Adele was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes close to 15
years ago, the unpleasant feelings that arose were overwhelming for me. I imagine that if I spoke with other Type 1
parents that they would surely agree that they also had a similar
experience. Adele was only 2 years old
and it killed me to have to shove needles into her many times every single day
while she kicked and screamed. It was
all happening so fast. There was no time
to grieve. There was no time to deal
with or feel these unpleasant feelings.
Looking back, I now realize that I mostly became numb and just put up a
happy front. I just stuffed these
feelings inside and moved on. That’s
what society expects. Nobody wants to be
dealing with a basket case so I reacted by stiffening my upper lip.
I only cried once when the doctor gave us Adele’s
diagnosis. After that it was all
business. Everyone kept telling me that
things would get better with time. So I
went with that. One thing about Type 1
gaming is that even if insulin doses are spot on one day, the next they can be
dangerously way off. And it doesn’t
matter if you’ve just been diagnosed or if you’ve been playing the Type 1 game
for decades, the truth is that nothing really changes with time. It’s a chronic life-long disease that needs
to be dealt with 24-7 with no vacation whatsoever. Insulin is not a cure. It is life-support.
What did happen in time is that I became more and more
shielded from all feelings thus all of life.
Now I had never been very open to expressing my feelings to begin with,
but this got even worse after Adele’s Type 1 diagnosis. It even got to the point where it affected my
relationship with my wife. She used to
say that I would always be “in my own little bubble” and she was right. We became more and more disconnected. The concussion last summer broke me
open. And now I can become teary eyed
listening to music. Just like that, sitting
at work listening to tunes and I feel water welling up in the corner of my
eye. I feel it build from my heart and
move up and out to my eyes. In those
times I kindof wished that I had not popped my bubble or protective shield, but
the depth of my relationships have increased so much that I would never want to
go back. Actually, once you are open I
believe that there is no going back.
No comments:
Post a Comment