Fight

Fight.  Standing there.  Eyes closed.  I begin to see.  Never stop fighting is what everyone keeps telling me.  But I don’t feel like a fighter.  I mostly just feel tired.  Tired of pretending.  Tired of fighting.  Tired of pretending to be a fighter.  My fatigue is not desperate, depressed or hopeless.  Yes, my body aches.  But most of all, it’s my soul that’s exhausted.  Drained from compromising myself.  Burnt out from faking it for so long.  So spent, I forget who or what I am fighting for.  There is this template that the cultural engineers are selling us.  To solve all problems, first find the culprit.  Identify who or what is to blame.  Make it the enemy.  Then, go to war.  Battle and conquer.   The problem with this constant fight is that it is making us become one of them.  Not better.  The same.  Making us stoop down to their level.  Propelling us towards hate instead of love.  The loss of our inner peace.  Our inside disposition mirroring our outward struggle.  Our external battles slowly infecting our inner harmony.  The fight eventually becoming against our own selves.  Looking back, I now realize that I never was a fighter.  Always uneasy with confrontation.  Avoiding altercations as much as possible.  I have always preferred peace above powerfully forcing my beliefs and virtues on others.  Maybe, in the end, fighting doesn’t really solve anything?  Maybe, in the end, there are no winners in fighting?  Maybe, in the end, we all just come out as losers?  Maybe the world doesn’t need more fighters?  Maybe what the world needs right now is more healers?  Fight.