For the longest time now, riding has been my medicine. For so many years, I used it as an analgesic. A coping mechanism enabling me to numb the pain from underlying past trauma. A very effective method. Riding to forget. It worked for years. Even if it was but a masking remedy that only provided temporary relief. Today, my riding has changed. I’ve changed. Less avoiding. More feeling. Riding to remember. To heal what I am struggling to feel. To help me make a bit of sense of the senseless. Closer to these emotions. No longer trying to escape them. My bikes guiding me back to my true self. I’ve come to a point where I no longer have any use for competition anymore. I’ve come to despise it actually. It just seems to rob me of too much happiness. There simply is nothing left to prove. I am already enough. Fast enough. Strong enough. Goal setting and signing up for challenging events are not what motivate me to keep pedaling. My reasons are intrinsic. No longer about improving. Simply about enjoying. The only intention or goal that I currently have in regards to bikes is to be able to ride as long as physically possible. Not faster. Not farther. Just to keep spinning these pedals. In this happy medium space at this unhurried pace called sustainability. I call it my personal ‘Pedaling Longevity Project’.
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