Numbers

The business world lives by the adage that the numbers don’t lie.  But what if that was really just a lie?  What if the real truth is that the numbers are but lies?  What if we stopped focusing on the quantities and totals?  From a practical perspective, we will always need numbers in order to function in this world.  But what if we let go of our attachment to them?  Most cyclists absolutely love and live by numbers.  Speed.  Power.  Maximal aerobic power (MAP).  Heart rate.  Distance.  Time.  Constantly chasing them.  Using numbers to determine progress and also, very often, indirectly self-worth.  Measurable results slavery.  I remember when I trained and raced how my overall mood and well-being were affected by how I was riding, how I compared to others, how my performance measured up to my set goals.  When I was riding well, life was good.  My happiness dependant on external circumstances.  I’d get on these highs when how I wanted things to be matched how they were.  But since they were not based on something internal, there was always an underlying lingering anxiety.  I could easily get upset when these out of my control, external circumstances didn’t go as planned.  My ride numbers are really not all that impressive right now.  Even if I’ve been having amazing ride feeling days lately.  Fluidity.  Souplesse.  Effortlessness.  A simple and very deep sense of well-being as my cycling body resurfaces.  Feelings of health, focus, creativity and ease that spill into every single thing.  Subtle.  Powerful beyond measure.  Numbers will never redeem you.  Numbers will never be your salvation.  True happiness is an inside job.  Shift your focus inward.  The numbers are but lies.