Tuesday, August 17, 2021

Done trying

What if I just stopped trying?  Trying to keep up.  Trying to fit in.  Trying to be liked.  Trying to be perfect.  Trying to be someone else.  Trying to measure up.  Trying to prove myself.  Trying to impress.  What would happen?  Humans spend so much time trying so very hard.  No wonder we’re so very tired.  Fire isn’t trying to be hot.  Rivers aren’t trying to flow.  It’s just what they naturally do.  I have been noticing lately that whenever I feel overwhelmed and undone that I’m always also trying very hard.  Too hard.  Trying to be more or different than I already am.  Trying to control what was never mine to control.  I didn’t try to find a buddy to ride mountain bikes with in Fundy National Park.  I just loaded my Trance on the back of my truck and headed out.  Alone in the woods.  Climbing at my own pace, not trying to follow someone else’s.  Comfortably working.  Conservatively spinning.  Up to the pump track for a few laps.  Effortlessly flowing over the rolling jumps.  Carving berms.  That timeless feeling.  It just comes whenever I’m on my bike without really trying.  Not chasing accolades.  Endeavors that come from a place of self-love and passion don’t require any effort.  Just like meeting your life partner and falling madly in love.  It most often happens when we’re not trying.  We too often assume that the answer is always to try harder.  But what if it really is simply to stop trying?  I mean, who really likes a try hard anyway?  The irony of this post is that I’ve been trying to write it for over 2 weeks now…  Maybe the cure to writer’s block is simply to stop trying?

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