Dreams

Dreams.  I’m not sure why, but for the longest time I didn’t dream at night.  Until these last few months.  Every night.  Multiple dreams.  Some so vivid, they’re in 4k HD.  Realistic.  Better than real-life, where you can touch and feel textures of things around you.  Overflowing with such profound emotion.  And everything makes sense and is so very believable.  I’ve recently read that dreams are our brains way of trying to finish what was started during the day.  That kind of makes sense.  But then I sometimes get these weird dreams that seem to come out of nowhere.  Dreams about things that I hadn’t thought about in weeks, months and sometimes even years.  Nightmares about decade old past traumas.  That stuff doesn’t just go away when we bury it deep in our psyche.  I don’t think it’s as much about unfinished daily tasks as it is about trying to process and make sense of what we’re still holding onto.  Our mind’s way of reminding us of what we need to let go.  When I trained to race, I’d dream about podiums and favorable results to help get me through my interval workouts.  Visualization.  Powerful stuff.  Making things happen by forcing them using sheer will.  Now, I don’t try to force anything.  I don’t dream about any future goal or objective as I pedal.  It’s simply about completely feeling the physical sensations inside and around me in the moment.  That is why I ride.  To bring me closer to the here and now.  Focusing on the energy of the wind.  Noticing how the cold feels on my fingers and toes.  This aliveness experience.  Then there’s also the dreams that our born during our childhood about how we want things in our life to unfold.  As I get older, these dreams are definitely becoming much simpler.  They’re no longer about stuff, goals, accolades, titles or accomplishments.  They’re more emotional.  Envisioning quality time with family and friends.  Simple.  In the moment.  Feelings of happiness and well-being.  Maybe, at the end of the day, dreams are more like fires than treasures.  Maybe they’re not meant to be held onto.  Maybe they’re just meant to be bowed down to from a safe distance.  Dreams.