“We have two
lives. The second begins when we realize
we only have one.” – Confucius
My second
life started 5 years ago today. My last
race. I almost didn’t go. I just wasn’t feeling it. Bell lap.
That rooty downhill. Too tired to
be descending that fast. My hand
slipped. The helmet didn’t break. A minor concussion they said. Everything should be back to normal in a week
or so. But it wasn’t. It still isn’t. Certain changes in my brain chemistry. A rewiring of sorts. A hard reset.
Most everyone doesn’t realize how much that crash has changed me. There is the me before. And there is the me after. Two different people. I can’t explain it any other way. The impact of my fall changing the
vibrational frequency of every single cell in my body. Killing me and bringing me back to life. Shattering my ego. Waking me up.
Completely smashing me wide open.
All of my past trauma fully exposed.
Working on myself. The daunting
task of cleaning up this mess. Letting
the old me wither and die. Releasing
what wasn’t mine to carry in the first place.
Healing. Better than I was
before. Happier. Heartfelt happiness unlike the short moments
of elation that I was constantly chasing before, always right there but still
forever fleeting. Deep-rooted. A knowing that everything is going to be OK
in the end. The courage to change what I
have the power to change. Some days are
amazingly good. Other days are still
painfully difficult. A new mental health
perspective slowly gained. And, through
it all, the one thing that I am certain about is that I like me better the
second time around.
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