Suspended

Suspended.  In limbo.  What are we supposed to do in the meantime?  While life is on hold?  Is not knowing when or how this pandemic is going to end driving you crazy?  For me, it comes in waves.  Some days, when I’m present, in the now, I’m good.  I feel a certain sense of ease and grounded safety in our little bubble.  Like we can do this.  That everything is going to be OK.  Other days, when I’m in my head, I feel frustrated, really wanting a concrete timeline, a tangible detailed schedule telling me exactly what’s next and when.  My egoic mind desperately seeking security, wanting measurable milestones in order to better prepare, perceiving this as something that I absolutely need to figure out.  The truth is that no one knows for sure what happens next.  Unprecedented in our lifetime.  Day to day.  A trial.  An experiment based on our best estimates.  Everything has never been as uncertain as it is right now.  Unknown.  The question is, can we be OK with it?  Can we let go of our need to know?  Fear is born from not being OK with the mystery of what we’re facing.  Accepting the unknown, embracing it even, creates a heightened sense of aliveness, an appreciation for what we still have.   Can we make peace with our helplessness during these times?  Have trust in our unity?  Life is out of our control.  It will always be.  I mean, there are certain things that we have control over like our intentions and our actions, but in the grand scheme of things, life always was, is and will always be out of control.  No one knows when or how it ends.  And it’s OK not to know.  Do all that you can to help others and remain healthy and safe.  And then, mindfully sit back and watch history unfold.  Drop the personal mind-made stories.  No expectations or assumptions.  All that we ever have is this moment.  Can we be here for it during these trying times?