Forward

A strong wind blows from the south west.  Stuffed.  Hampered.  I shift to any easier gear and keep pedaling.  I am certainly not moving fast.  But my momentum is forward.  Head down.  I ride out to the pavilion.  I take my helmet off and sit.  It’s been a long week.  My instinct is to resist.  I tell myself to simply try to give in.  The powerful breeze penetrating me.  Cleansing.  Purifying.   Lifting me up.  Peeling off layers of accumulated rubbish that I have unwillingly been clinging onto.  Maybe that’s the purpose of head winds?  Tired and still achy, my perspective begins to shift.  Watching.  I begin to feel an unquestionable happiness swell up inside of me as I sit there.  Here and now.  Present.   Was my happiness making me present or was my presence making me happy?  I ponder this question.  Maybe we can only be happy when we are present?  When we show up for what is.  When we are completely in the moment.  Maybe we can never be present as long as we remain stuck in the past?  Conditioned by it.  Imprisoned by it.  Maybe the only way to truly be present is by making peace and healing our past?  Without this, our past will always be present.  Inward and backwards.  Maybe this is the only way forward?